These are just two among the many hundreds of items I have gathered so far from my mother’s closets. But make no mistake, there’s no way in hell Johanna Garfield would have EVER worn this, or any, hat–it might have messed up her hair. The “cocktail” ring I know was my grandmother’s as I see both her and my mother’s writing on the case. The other night I wore it to dinner and Peter said it was “distracting,” and not in a good way. However, I will treasure it.
I have yet to even open my Mom’s storage unit and am scared. One of the funniest advertising slogans I’ve ever seen was from Manhattan Mini Storage: “You’re not Little Edie and this isn’t Grey Gardens.” Not too far off the mark though. A few years ago I emptied my own storage unit and found a partial set of my father’s mother’s china. It wasn’t anything I particularly liked–but I thought I should check with my cousins first since I think the set was divided among the four granddaughters. Well, no one was interested. None of my cousins, and no one on Ebay. I ended up keeping a few pieces just to remind me of Nanny and gave the rest away. Who knows what happened to it. One woman’s trash is quite often NOT another woman’s treasure.
In any case, I have accelerated donating and disposing of my own items. Unfortunately, I cannot get rid of Peter’s stuff as well. But certain things keep making the cut: my Barbies, my children’s books, and The Club. I really do not want to leave anyone with so much stuff. And, the eternal question, to whom am I leaving it? Somehow I don’t think my nephews will be interested in my childhood toys and books. And, not having grown up in New York in the 60’s and 70’s, I very much doubt they know what The Club is.
This reminds me of my mother’s “cocktail” ring — something with gold chunks and a pearl that sat way up high and that I was enthralled by as a young girl. Sadly, I’m not sure who has it now. You raise so many issues, ones that I worry over, having an only child. Our basement is full of stuff, not just from Whit’s and my single days, but also from his parents’ home. I am in favor of getting a dumpster and hauling it all out before our son has to deal with it. But we’re dragging our feet. Ordinary procrastination or denial of the inevitable? Keep writing, Clare. I enjoy — sometimes in a bittersweet way — your posts.
Thanks for commenting Beth–probably ordinary procrastination. Just do it in pieces. Also Buy Nothing on Facebook is great–people will take almost anything! And you feel like it’s being used. Part of the problem is hating to waste things, it has to be donated, sold or trashed, trashed being the last resort. I know people think I’m crazy to waste my time on this but I just can’t toss things.
I’ve been giving a lot of stuff to my local Buy Nothing group — but so far, it’s just been clearing out my own closets! Haven’t even touched what’s in the basement. Oh well. Going through your mom’s things must be very emotional, on top of the pragmatics of what to do with all of it. Frankly, I don’t even remember that period after my mom died. I’m afraid I let my sister do all of it.