An Exercise in Patience

Patience may not be one of my virtues, but I have developed more of it in the last few years, especially for older people. I have seen the physical and sometimes mental decline of elderly friends and relatives and know that, if I live that long, I will be struggling with these issues as well.

Last Sunday, I went on what I thought was going to be a fairly easy, quick-paced hike with a local group. I had offered to be “sweep”–the person who stays at the back of the group so that no one gets too far behind. At first, I was perfectly happy as I was having a great conversation with a young couple who were both getting graduate degrees in psychology.

But, within a mile, it became clear that an older man on the hike was having a very hard time. As sweep, I needed to stay back with him. I found out that Jim was 78 years old and had had a stroke 6 months ago. He had been in physical therapy and had only recently started taking longer walks again. However, he was clearly not ready for an 8-mile hike on the Appalachian Trail.

Eventually, the entire group decided to go ahead, leaving me with Jim and one other person, Steve. Uphills were hard, downhills were hard. The trail was icy and snowy in parts and even fairly level surfaces caused pain in Jim’s knee. There were points at which Jim could have waited while one of us went ahead to get a car but he said he was stubborn and wanted to persevere.

Steve and I encouraged Jim, made sure that he ate and drank, and stopped frequently. But when we got to Mile 5 and Jim’s cell phone rang and he answered it I started to get annoyed. It was his granddaughter and she wanted him to go pick up a chest of drawers that she had found on Craig’s List—it was free if he could get there right away! The absurdity of this given that he was stumbling and we were still miles away from finishing seemed to be lost on Jim who told his granddaughter he would be there by 3:00 p.m. When we finally got back, about two hours later than expected, I told Jim that it was inspiring to see him complete the hike given his medical condition and that I hoped I was still hiking in twenty years.

I hope to be able to pursue my favorite activities for many years to come and that someone will help me when I need it. I hope that I will know when to modify or stop certain activities. But maybe I will be stubborn, like Jim.

P.S. Jim’s granddaughter did not get her furniture.